Plural noun | crop·tics | \’kräp-tiks\
Definition of Croptics
1 : plural in form but singular in construction: the aspects of an action, policy, or decision (as in politics or business) that relate to bona fide happiness.
- Desiree had trouble deciding between the various pairs of shoes at the store, but ultimately purchased the Crocs after taking into account the croptics.
First Known Use: 2017
Origins are believed to hail from southeast region of the United States in the Early 21st century after a lone commoner tried on Crocs for the first time and fell in love with them.
Of all the shoes at that store, Desiree went for the Crocs. Those funky shoes that come in all shapes, sizes, and colors? Yes ma’am. She went for these babies:
(Desiree is a big Chris Evans fan as you can tell.)
And even though she might have selected the right shoes for her in that moment, that decision, our societal style complex dictates, was not a good one.
The fine lines we draw in the shifting sands of public perception detract from the shreds of individuality we struggle to preserve. Making decisions for ourselves shouldn’t be so difficult, but often times they seem the hardest to make; because within our own heads we hear the ever-continuous symphony of our society. Oh how incessant it becomes, blasting through our eardrums like a professional marching snare. Unrelenting is the noise, who breeds barely-pass filters which impede our stream of consciousness and place emotional barriers into our processes of internal communication. Those barriers share the heaviest load when we weigh our options, but fortunately, we wear them, not bear them.
At any single decision point in our life, we always have the option of removing the load placed on us by our peers. Shedding the extra weight lightens the load of the downward force, thus decreasing the number on the scale we see. The lower the number, the wider the smile. The wider the smile, the lighter we feel. It’s not complicated; its math. Multiplying the parameters of one side in the equation of life with noisy data will surely increase the absolute value of the other. But what we factor into that equation is up to us. Changing our outcomes; managing the results of the data is as easy as weeding out the culprit variables. Factor out all the XYZ’s and you get to the solutions—your roots. In math, the problem is never fully solved until you simplify.
The roots are you. Your thoughts, your perceptions, and ultimately your decisions, made with your own terms; conditions that will tailor the equation of life and make the hard problems easier to solve; make the desired results spill out of the ol’ wrinkly calculator. But no two wrinkly calculators are built the same. They are all custom-made and unique down to the stem. A formula made specifically for one, may not work for another.
Our wise friend Desiree, seems to have known this. All her cells were firing on all pistons; racking, stacking, hustling in her decision process.
“Should I go for the fashion trendy flats all the cool girls are wearing? Or should I go for these Crocs?”
“Omg. They have Captain America Crocs. I have to try them on.”
“These are perfect. Comfortable, Cool on my feet, Captain America. Ugh but they’re Crocs, I’m never gonna here the end of it from my girls. Let me try on the flats”
“Oh no. These hurt. I can’t do this. It will definitely give me blisters. But they look so good and I should get a pair because…”
*BEEP BOOP BOP* The wrinkly calculator activates
“Because nothing. Forget these feet killers. I’m getting my Crocs.”
Acting or deciding on account of our bona fide happiness. That is croptics. It is our personalized approach for solving how we interact with the world and the pursuit of the results we hope to receive from those interactions. But beware of its evil twin many mistake for our favorite new noun. Too often tricked by the slight of a rhyme, some become influenced by the abominable antonym, optics. Luckily there is a day-old saying to help you distinguish between the two:
“A life lived for croptics will make your feet glister; a life ruled by optics will leave you with blisters.”
When we get those blisters we apply a bandage. And then what?
Band-Aids can cover up the blisters of our life, but they can never take away the pain.